19 Signs That Shows He’s Not the One For You

1. You’re bored

One sign that he’s not right for you is boredom.

This is not to say that you should feel hyped about your romance 24/7, but you shouldn’t feel bored, either.

If he can’t keep your interest and you find yourself daydreaming about being somewhere else when you’re together, take it as a sign that he’s just not right for you.

2. He can’t communicate

Communication is a fundamental quality of a happy relationship.

Not only does communication encourage you to get to know one another better, but it also helps couples squash relationship problems before they get out of hand.

If your partner doesn’t know how to communicate their feelings, it could spell trouble for your future together.

In a survey of 886 separated couples, 53% cited a lack of communication as a primary reason for filing for divorce.

3. You feel like you’re his mom

“I thought he was the one, but I’m starting to feel more like his mom than his lover.”

Does this sound like a thought you’ve had?

If so, your relationship is in trouble.

There is nothing attractive about having to mother your boyfriend. Occasionally picking up after him is one thing, but if he frequently asks you to do things for him or expects you to take care of him, then he’s not right for you.

4. He doesn’t respect you

You’ll know right away that he’s not for you if he has a disrespectful attitude toward you, your friends, or your family.

Saying disparaging things

Belittling your accomplishments

Trying to manipulate you

Pushing your boundaries to get what he wants

Talking negatively about you to others (or to you!)

Revealing private information about your relationship

These are all warning signs that he does not treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

5. He isn’t supportive

One of the signs he is not the one is when his support for you is lacking.

A loving partner is someone who celebrates your accomplishments and cheers for you to reach your goals.

You’ll know this is not the one for you if your man is someone who becomes petty, jealous, competitive, or shows little to no interest in the things that are important to you.

6. You don’t agree on fundamental things

Nobody is saying you need to be with a replica of yourself to be happy. Opposites attract for a reason, right?

Still, certain things may become roadblocks to happiness the longer you are together, such as:

Moral character

Religious beliefs


Whether or not you want to start a family

Where you want to live

If you and your man disagree on the fundamentals, it can make a happy, healthy relationship difficult to achieve.

7. You think about breaking up all the time

“I thought he was the one, so why am I always thinking about someone else?”

It’s normal to get crushes on other people, but when you’re in a relationship, you’re completely happy. Fantasizing about being with another man probably shouldn’t be on your radar.

If you find yourself thinking about breaking up or being with someone else daily, take it as a huge sign that he’s just not right for you.

8. He makes you feel bad about yourself

A loving relationship should make you feel good. You should feel smart, pretty, valued, and desired.

A toxic relationship will leave you feeling sad, anxious, and resigned.

If he makes you feel uneasy or bad about yourself, he’s not right for you.

9. You don’t have fun together

One of the big signs he’s not the one is if you don’t enjoy your time with him.

Going out with your man should be one of the highlights of your week, not something you dread.

If you spend more time arguing than enjoying each other’s company, it’s a sign he’s just not right for you.

10. He doesn’t like your friends and family

One of the signs he’s not the one is if he dislikes your friends and family and asks you not to hang out with them.

If he asks you not to spend so much time with your friends or family, it could be a sign of control and manipulation.

That said, your boyfriend and close friends aren’t always going to get along, but if your man cares about you, he’ll make getting to know your loved ones a priority.

11. Your friends and family don’t like him

Your friends and family know you better than anyone. Because they are on the outside of your relationship, they can sometimes see things that you can’t because you’re too deep in it.

If your loved ones are expressing concern over your happiness or how you are being treated by your spouse, seriously consider their thoughts.

12. You don’t spend quality time together

Spending quality one-on-one time with your man is important to maintaining a happy relationship.

If you never do date nights or find your partner more interested in their phone than in your conversation, then you’ll know he’s just not right for you.

13. You don’t bring out the best in each other

When you’re with the right person, you’ll both encourage one another and make each other a better version of yourselves. You’ll be more patient, loving, and kind.

When you’re with the wrong person, you’ll bring out the worst in each other. You may regularly fight, nitpick, and behave in ways you never had before you got together.

If you never feel like your best self when you’re together, take it as a sign he is not the one.

14. Your relationship is only about one thing

One of the biggest signs he is not the one is if your relationship revolves around physical intimacy and nothing more.

One study of 119 male and 189 female university students reported that when intimate encounters are based solely on sex (without friendship or romance attached), 50% of survey participants felt deceived by their partner and experienced higher instances of loneliness and psychological distress.

15. You’re not honest with each other

Have you ever related to either of the following?

“I thought he was the one, but I feel uncomfortable opening up to him.”

“I thought he was the one, but I feel like he’s always lying to me.”

If so, your relationship is in trouble.

Research published by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that one trust is lost through dishonesty; it is incredibly difficult to restore – and without trust, your relationship is doomed.

16. He has violent or troubling behavior

Domestic violence statistics reveal that 1 in 4 women will experience abuse at the hands of a romantic partner.

One of the biggest signs he’s not the one is if he has shown troubling behavior such as grabbing you firmly when angry, hitting you, threatening you or your loved ones, or using verbal aggression to get his way.

Other troubling behavior includes addictions such as drugs, alcohol, sex, or gambling.

17. I thought he was the one, but there’s no future

One tip on how to know if you are with the right man is if you can picture him by your side for the rest of your life.

If you can’t picture yourself living with your spouse, getting married, or having a calm and happy relationship, take it as a sign that he’s just not right for you.

18. Infidelity is rampant

If your boyfriend is continually unfaithful, then he’s not right for you.

Your partner should respect your body and never put you in a position to feel used or become sexually infected.

Not only does infidelity hurt your heart, emotions, and self-esteem, it also ruins trust.

Similarly, when you are with the right person, you want to give all of your love to them; mind, body, and soul. You shouldn’t be feeling a desire to be unfaithful.

19. You aren’t best friends

One sign he’s just not right for you is if you can’t seem to build a romantic friendship.

The Journal of Happiness Studies found strong evidence that couples are happier when they are best friends.

You should be able to do more than go to romantic dinners and be intimate with your partner. You should be able to share hobbies and hang out with each other’s friends.

20. You have a gut feeling

One of the biggest signs he is not the one isn’t something you see – it’s something you feel. A gut feeling isn’t just a fun phrase; it’s a real thing.

Scientifically referred to as either your intuitive system or your analytical system, your gut feeling about your relationship is your instinct’s way of trying to steer you away from danger.

When you know he’s not the one, you’ll feel it in your gut.


Signs he’s not the one includes feeling bad or bored when you’re together, not seeing a future with your man, and toxic behaviors such as verbal or physical abuse.

Don’t let yourself think, “I thought he was the one, but…” for too long before you take control of your romantic future.

It can be discouraging when you know he’s not the one, but rest assured, bigger and better things are waiting for you once you ditch your unfulfilling relationship.

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