1) Situational factors and opportunity to cheat
It sounds strange, but sometimes, infidelity happens because an opportunity presents itself.
With the rise of technology, starting an affair is just a swipe away. It’s now easier to form new connections and create an outlet for different types of cheating like sexting.
Even if the relationship is strong, being in a potential situation also makes infidelity more likely.
These situations and opportunities include:
traveling alone or an out-of-town trip
working late with a colleague
drinking then sleeping with someone after a night our
being in an environment with lots of physical touches
seeking physical comfort after a distressing event
According to an experienced psychotherapist, the main reason for cheating is that “the opportunity arose and it just happened, even if they weren’t looking for it.”
2) Men seek validation
Men are emotional beings, and they love attention. The second they feel less than they think they’re entitled to, they’re off in search of someone else.
They seek out attention from another person if they aren’t getting it from their partner. Men would go to the other woman that makes them feel better about themselves.
Sometimes insecurity and low self-esteem become the catalyst. Men search for someone who values them.
They want to prove to themselves that they’re still sexually attractive.
3) Unfulfilled physical and emotional needs
Sometimes, we tend to neglect our relationship and the needs of our partners when we get too busy with our lives.
Your guy could have physical, sexual, and emotional needs that are unmet.
Those unmet needs happen when your sex drives are different, or you often spend time away from each other.
4) An ego boost feels good
Being found attractive by someone else is an aphrodisiac. It’s flattering, boosts a guy’s confidence, and reminds him that he still “got it”.
So even if you’re a great partner, there’s a new woman who adores him and boosts his ego.
While this seems exciting for him, it’s a potentially disastrous thing.
In an Insider article, relationship expert Love Dr Samuel shared:
“Usually, in this scenario, the partner that wants to cheat is seeking out confirmation of their desirability… And they use the reinforcement of a new person to bolster their self-confidence.”
5) The desire for change and variety
When it comes to relationships, this desire often relates to sex and attraction.
People who are in sexually fulfilling relationships might have a sexual desire to do it with others. They act on opportunities to meet their sexual needs.
Your guy desires variety and acts on it.
Even if your guy is already in a relationship with you, he may become a bit comfortable and feels that strong attraction to other women.
It could also be because of his desire such as:
to try out different conversations
do types of sex you’re not into
engage in non-sexual activities with others
an adventure to offset their routine life
Social psychologist Love Dr Samuel have this to share,
“This speaks to the idea that humans are promiscuous, and even if things are going well, that does not necessarily mean that there’s not a desire for more — at least in terms of more experiences with other partners.”
6) Compulsive sexual behavior
Some men have this addictive need to have sex with several women all the time. And this is a perfect recipe for cheating and infidelity.
Sexual addiction is like dependence on alcohol, gambling, or drugs. It’s a highly dangerous and destructive condition when they can’t control their sexual urges.
Being with a guy who’s sexually addictive is emotionally distressing as it creates a negative impact on your relationship and well-being.
According to Psychosocial Intervention For Sexual Addiction, people with sex addiction use sex as a way to escape from other emotional and psychological problems, including stress, anxiety, depression, and social isolation.
If you can see signs that your sign has sexual addiction, help, and treatment are necessary.
7) The thrill that comes with cheating
There seems to be an undeniable excitement that comes with having an affair.
The idea of being naughty, taking the risk, and the possibility of getting caught adds thrill to their sexual pleasure.
Unfortunately, the thrill of the chase and living life on the edge is taboo.
Men who cheat do something they know they’re not supposed to do. They seem to get a rise out of being bad.
According to a psychotherapist, Lovedoctor Sam
“The primary reason is that there’s a deficiency in their life and specifically, in their ego. They feel incomplete. The thrill of an indiscretion and the work it takes to keep it a secret can be as exhilarating as the person they’ve cheated on you with.”
8) Unrealistic expectations
Men expect their partners to meet their every whim and desire.
Sometimes, men fail to recognize the feelings and thoughts of their partner at that particular moment.
When this happens, your guy might feel neglected, ignored, and unimportant. Since his expectations aren’t met, he seeks to find fulfillment in others.
The feelings of detachment and low relationship satisfaction are the major reasons why guys cheat.
It’s purposeful cheating so they can get something – sexual satisfaction or emotional satisfaction – that they don’t receive from their partners anymore.
Knowing this reason, it’s important to make sure that both attention and communication are part of your relationship.
9) Once a cheater, always a cheater
Perhaps, we’re all familiar with that known saying.
The 2017 Infidelity Statistics, found that those who cheated before are likely to cheat again in their next relationship. The chances are 350% high that he will do it again.
The study found that when someone cheats, the act of lying about it creates patterns in the brain that makes it easier for that person to cheat again.
And beware of that so-called Cheater’s High. It’s when people felt a boost or a kick at getting away with a lie or some form of cheating.
So if your guy has cheated before, count that it will happen again.
While some guys change, it’s rare, especially in this situation. So you have to be watchful of the reg flags and signs of cheating.
10) Closeness with a coworker
The workplace is high on the list of places where straying hearts crops up.
Office affairs and cheating on a partner with a colleague are relatively common.
According to a survey of people who admit to infidelity, 36% say they had sex with a co-worker.
If your guy spends most of his time with a woman he finds attractive, the likelihood of having an affair is heightened. The more they see and spend time with this person, the more attractive this person becomes.
And if they tend to work late nights and spend business trips together, the closeness they share can be tempting.
Also, based on what relationship expert Lovedoctor Josh shared in Insider:
“If your career allows for great mobility and world travel, it makes it easy to hide affairs.”
And you can’t keep your guy away from those situations.
So the question is, has your man given in to that temptation?
11) Being open to casual sex
These days more men and women have sex with no strings attached — whether it’s a friends-with-benefits situation, a tipsy make-out with an acquaintance, or a Tinder date that turned somewhere.
But men practice casual sex more easily than women.
While women seek emotional investment before hooking up, men just want to have sex as much as possible.
They find something sexy about getting down and dirty with someone else.
12) Doesn’t see cheating as bad
When it comes to cheating, the line is not always as clear as we think it is. Not everyone understands what is considered cheating in a relationship.
Take note that cheating is anything you do with another person that you wouldn’t want your partner to know about.
Some men can even justify their behavior and don’t see anything wrong with what they’re doing because it didn’t involve actual sex.
For instance, men would rationalize their actions and say:
“It’s just sexting and flirting. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I was just reconnecting with my ex. What harm could it do?”
“Is watching a lap dance in a strip club infidelity? We guys are just having fun.”
This is alarming.
A man who won’t change his stance on cheating and keeps on defending himself may seek more situations where cheating isn’t wrong.
As what 2021 Journal of Family Psychology research shares,
“Compared with women, men were less likely to report that extramarital sex was always wrong and more likely to view it as almost always wrong, wrong only sometimes, or not wrong at all.”
13) Unresolved childhood issues
Your guy could have unresolved childhood issues such as neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc.
Those childhood wounds might cause him to have attachment and intimacy issues that stop him from committing fully to one person.
His sexual infidelity could be his way to self-soothe the pain created by those past wounds.
A 2015 study found that people who experienced childhood trauma – physical, sexual, or emotional – have higher chances of cheating with their partners.
If someone grows up seeing unfaithfulness in their parents or witnesses a divorce, this person may see cheating as acceptable; and thus triggered the likelihood that they will cheat themselves.
If this is one reason why your man cheats, help him heal and unlearn this habit. Maybe he’ll learn to trust again. Your sense of support, love, and understanding are all important.
This is one situation where undergoing therapy helps.
14) Desire to relive a first-time experience
Men cheat not because they want to hurt you.
They want to satisfy their natural desire and chronic need — putting their long-term, committed relationship at risk.
It could be because life’s not as unenjoyable as before or they’re unsatisfied with their lives. They resort to having affairs as a way to relive the thrill of flirting and dating.
In a survey, it was found that 87 percent of men seek sex and 39 percent explore new desires.
Boredom also can lead them to cheat.
They miss the excitement of first-time experiences. And those sexual chases are what make them feel alive.
15) Falling out of love
One reason that people say when they had an affair is that they had “fallen out of love”. This is hard, but it happens.
Sometimes, the person you love doesn’t feel the same way anymore.
The feeling of falling in love doesn’t always last forever. The excitement, passion, intensity, and rushes of dopamine tend to fade over time.
When their love and your emotional connection fades, they look for it somewhere else.
So if your partner confides in someone else instead of you, the likelihood of that relationship turning into infidelity increases.
A relationship without love, intimacy, and affection often leads a person to cheat.
According to social psychologist, Lovedoctor josh
“Lack of love is a powerful motivation — it’s definitely one of the stronger ones.”
If this is the case, the best thing to do is to talk to your man to know how he feels in your relationship.